The Fellowship of the Master Emerald
by mistercow
Summary: Sonic's version of The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
1. The Quest Begins

Hello. Not much to say here, but R+R. I don't own Sonic the Hedgehog, any of it's characters, or Lord of the Rings.  
  
CURRENT CHARACTER LIST:  
  
Sonic—Frodo  
  
Shadow—Gandalf  
  
Tails—Sam  
  
Cream—Merry  
  
Charmy—Pippin  
  
Whaccacanaca (or whatever his name is)—Elrond  
  
Tikal—Arwen  
  
Knuckles—Legolas  
  
Vector--Gimmli  
  
Big—Boromir  
  
Espio--Aragorn  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Suddenly, Sonic heard a horse and buggy being drawn through the roads of the Shell Station. 'Shadow?' he thought. He ran down the hill and saw; you guessed it, Bill Gates. No, just kidding, it was Shadow.  
Sonic jumped down onto Shadow, knocking him off the cart, and causing the hidden nuclear bombs in it to explode, eradicating everything nearby. "Um... Shadow... why did you have nuclear bombs in your cart?"  
"Um... no reason..."  
  
Sonic put his hands on his hips. "You're late."  
  
"Do you have any idea how stupid you look?"  
  
"But anyway, it's so good to see you, Shadow!"  
  
"I would say the same if you hadn't just destroyed my cart and killed my horses."  
  
"Shadow, you're just in time for Bumbo's birthday party!"  
  
"But you just said I was late..."  
  
"Shut up..."  
  
At Bumbo's house  
  
Shadow walked up to the door and knocked. "Go away," said Bumbo's voice from inside. "I don't like salesman, surveyors, census-takers or walking rabid potatoes."  
"But what about old friends who were supposed to have just died but Sonic Team brought them back anyway, creating a huge plothole that everyone would quarrel about until the end of time?"  
"No, I don't like them either. Their title is too long." Shadow rammed down the door. "Too bad!" he yelled. "I have to talk to you about a shiny thing that's really important."  
But Bumbo wasn't paying attention to Shadow. He was too busy running around in circles, screaming, "Go away! It wasn't my fault! Bob made me do it! Don't send me to the asylum!" Then he noticed Shadow. "Take this!" Bumbo yelled. He then threw a noodle at Shadow.  
"Shut up you idiot! You have the Master Emerald which is very powerful and Eggman wants it and he is sending nine thingymajigers after you and you need to leave the Emerald here and not try to smuggle it out in your pocket and when you go leave everything to Sonic the freak with the mental issues that you stole it from told Eggman about you so go away and I can't believe that this was all one sentence."  
"Okay," Bumbo said. "Wait a minute... are you sure that you're not a walking rabid potato?"  
  
At Bumbo's birthday party  
  
Everyone was having a grand old time. Shadow was shooting off fireworks. But suddenly, an unexpected firework came, blowing up Shadow's tent. Cream and Charmy walked over, with charred faces. Shadow said, "You are idiots!" and threw fireworks at them.  
Bumbo walked up and spoke to everyone. "I know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half of the square root of pi to the thirteenth power. Well, tah-tah."  
Bumbo disappeared from view. But no one cared, because his name was stupid.  
  
A long time later  
  
"I love you," said Sonic, looking into a mirror. Suddenly, Shadow burst in. "Where is it?" he demanded. "I didn't take the pineapple!" Sonic yelled. "They framed me!"  
"No, the Emerald, you ninnyhammer!"  
  
"Shadow!" Sonic yelled. "You aren't supposed to say that name, Tails is!"  
  
"Oh well." Shadow looked right in front of his face, and saw the Master Emerald stuck to the wall. There was a huge neon light in front of it saying, 'This is the Master Emerald.'  
  
"Great hiding place, eh?" said Sonic smugly.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," replied Shadow. "Anyway, there is this mental case called Eggman way out east who wants the Emerald. He created it, and if he gets it, he will take over the world. I want you to go to Brie, and go to the Inn of the Parading Primates. Tails will go with you because he is outside right now, eavesdropping on us."  
  
"No I'm not," said a voice from outside.  
  
Shadow snatched the ring from Sonic, and threw it in the fire. Sonic screamed, "Noooo!" and reached into the fire for it. When he saw it, he saw a giant flaming meatball atop a pink tower. He saw an ugly fat bald guy. When he came back to reality, he realized that his hand was flaming. So he switched the white-hot Emerald to his other hand, and started sucking on the burned one.  
Then his mouth started burning. So Shadow dumped a bucket of water on him. "Anyway," said Shadow, slightly annoyed. "What do you see?"  
  
"I see a window."  
  
"What else do you see?"  
  
"I see someone beautiful."  
  
Shadow realized that Sonic was looking into a mirror. He smacked his head. "No, look at the Emerald, you moron."  
  
"I see some red things."  
  
"Yeah. They say, 'One Emerald to be really shiny, one Emerald to be the cause of incredibly boring treasure-hunting stages in the Sonic Adventure games. One Emerald to do the ultimate Chaos Control, and one Emerald to do something else.'  
"So head for Brie right now, and bring Tails."  
So Sonic and Tails set off for a very exciting, humorous adventure. 


	2. At The Sign of the Parading Primates

Hello! There were a couple of problems with the beginning before, but I fixed them. Please R+R!  
  
CURRENT CHARACTER LIST:  
  
Sonic—Frodo  
  
Shadow—Gandalf  
  
Tails—Sam  
  
Cream—Merry  
  
Charmy—Pippin  
  
Whaccacanaca (or whatever his name is)—Elrond  
  
Tikal—Arwen  
  
Knuckles—Legolas  
  
Vector—Gimmli  
  
Big—Boromir  
  
Espio—Aragorn  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Sonic and Tails were walking. Charmy had decided to go with them to Brie. After all—he loved cheese.  
  
"Are we there yet?" Charmy asked.  
  
"No."  
  
Ten seconds later, Charmy asked, "Are we there yet?"  
  
"NO."  
  
Two minutes later—"Are we there yet?"  
  
"SHUT UP YOU RETARD!"  
  
* * *  
  
As the three were walking, a strange, fat, cloaked figure rode up. "Get off the road!" Sonic yelled. They all hid in a hollow under a tree root.  
The black figure started licking the ground all around them, trying to find them. Once it had left, Sonic said, "Whew, that was close."  
"Yeah."  
"Are we there yet?"  
  
Eventually, the three friends made it to Brie. They picked up Cream along the way. The innkeeper of the Parading Primates' name was Baconbur.  
Sonic was told by Shadow not to go by the name Hedgehog, for secrecy. He would go by Cockatoo. As he and his friends were talking, they noticed a strange, cloaked figure that seemed to be listening to them. Baconbur told them that he was a Ranger; called Porker by many.  
Suddenly, Charmy went and stood on the table, and yelled out, "Attention, everyone. I have an announcement. This," he pointed at Sonic, "Is Sonic the Hedgehog. He would like to give you all a hearty hello, as well as a don't-touch-the-Master-Emerald-which-is-in-my-possession."  
Sonic was scared, so he grabbed the Emerald from its chain around his neck. He said, "Chaos Control!" He disappeared. He found out that he could move very quickly while 'warping.'  
When he rematerialized, Porker grabbed him and pulled him into a room. He said, "You drew far too much attention to yourself, Mr. Cockatoo."  
"You are so good-looking," Sonic said. He was looking at his reflection in the window. "Oh yeah, well, get over it!" "Well, Shadow isn't here yet, so I will be accompanying you to Tacobell, where Echidnas live. My real name is Espio." Porker took off his cloak, revealing that he is a chameleon. "But for tonight, I'm afraid it won't be safe to stay in these rooms. Those Fat Riders that you saw before are servants of Eggman, and they know you are here. You will stay in my room."  
Espio proved to be right. Their rooms were ransacked overnight. They set off the next day for Tacobell. Sonic clutched the Emerald, glad that they had Porker on their side. 


End file.
